Who wants to live forever?

Posted on December 29, 2010 by sonjabarrie

Who wants to live forever indeed!  Not my hitch hiking lizard it seems and certainly not the snow blower.  Well, I can’t blame the snow blower after all we purchased it in November 2000 so if it was a car it would have gone round the clock twice by now! (yeah….that feeling I know!)

Let’s start with the lizard, I go in every morning and check on him, make sure he’s still eating the crickets and enjoying living in a plastic box. A big plastic see through box but a box none the less.

I guess he didn’t like living in it because when I checked on him he was black and as stiff as a board and for you Monty Python fans out there: NO he was not ‘just restin’!  I could also have tried to bang him on the counter al la John Cleese but unlike the parrot he was a bit too small and would probably split in half.  Not a nice thought considering that wouldn’t have woken him up either.

I have to say I went all out on his funeral though, his coffin was as big as a garbage can ;o)

Then there’s the snow blower.  The storm that was engulfing the east in snow finally made it here and we woke up to a big storm with wet heavy snow, very un Utah like.  The fact that it was horizontal is very Utah like and even more so in Herriman.  Herriman has nothing on the windy city let me tell you.

Needless to say about 11am Tim valiantly went out to clear the path and try and clear the driveway seeing as the snow plow had been down the road a couple of times and had decided to create a mountain of snow to block the driveway from the road.  He managed to get part of the driveway done and a bit of the mountain blocking the road when the snow blower decided it had had enough.  I don’t blame it, by then so had Tim!

It just stopped dead; the pull cord to start it wouldn’t even pull. OK down to the repair shop half an hour away with the vain hope that they will have the parts and get it fixed today so we can pick it up tomorrow (if we can get out of the driveway that is).

Hah, what a joke: fix it?  Not a chance.  The guy in the repair store recognized that he had serviced it a year ago and as he took the cover off it he just laughed: bits fell out and it was pretty obvious that it was an ex snow blower.

Of course the first thing that came to my mind was the wonderful Monty Python “The Dead Parrot” sketch.

Here’s my version but you still have to do John Cleese (Mr. Praline) in an upper class British accent and Michael Palin (as the Owner):

Mr. Praline: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this snow blower what I purchased not 10 years ago from this very boutique.

Owner: Oh yes, the, uh, the Torro Red…What's, uh…What's wrong with it?

Mr. Praline: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it!

Owner: No, no, 'e's uh,…he's resting.

Mr. Praline: Look, matey, I know a dead snow blower when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.

Owner: No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable snow blower, the Torro Red, idn'it, ay? Beautiful plumage!

Mr. Praline: The plumage don't enter into it. It's stone dead.

Owner: Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting!

Shortly after this Mr. Praline gets the parrot out of its cage, bangs it on the counter then throws it in the air and watches it plummet to the ground.

Now a dead parrot or even a dead lizard I could bang on the counter but a snow blower, can barely start it let alone bang it on anything.  Tim did feel like banging is head on the counter though!

So $600 later we have a new snow blower (bigger, wider and beefier but still a Toro) and Tim finally get’s the driveway done about 3:30pm!

So for your amusement and pleasure I have included the Monty Python sketch in its entirety.  I don’t care how much I watch this it cracks me up every time but then I always did have a low humor threshold!

Monty Python at its best!

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